


Tony Stank

by Moonscar



Series: The Forbidden Avenger Chatroom [24]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Banter, Chatting & Messaging, Family Feels, Fluff, Humor, Language, M/M, Mentions of underage drinking, Mild Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Social Media, Texting, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, chatroom, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:55:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25351243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonscar/pseuds/Moonscar
Summary: Spider-Burrito: guys guysSpider-Man has changed IronPopTartMan's name to TonyStankSpider-Burrito: guess what mr.rhodey revealed to me
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: The Forbidden Avenger Chatroom [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1169003
Comments: 19
Kudos: 277





	Tony Stank

**Spider-Burrito** : guys guys

**Spider-Man has changed IronPopTartMan's name to TonyStank**

**Spider-Burrito** : guess what mr.rhodey revealed to me

 **TonyStank** : honeybear im gonna fight you

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : I don't know what Peter speaks of, truly

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : Also I've never felt so threatened by the name 'honeybear'

 **TonyStank** : cool the sarcasm platypus- i know where you live

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : We live in the same tower

 **TonyStank** : details, details

 **Spider-Burrito** : platypus?

 **TonyStank** : i am nothing if not a man of nicknames

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i can second that shit-

 **FalconsAreCool** : A Man of Nicknames isn't exactly the first thing I think of when I think Tony Stank

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : fuck off with your proper grammar-

 **TonyStank** : fuck off with calling me tony stank

 **Mr.Jesus** : i'm just here to tell you to fuck off

 **CaptainRighteous** : I thought you guys were passed this

 **Mr.Jesus** : never

 **FalconsAreCool** : I second that, although Bucky, fuck you too

 **Mr.Jesus** : no thanks

 **FalconsAreCool** : ...

 **FalconsAreCool** : I wish I could say I felt any surprise at all anymore but all I feel is numb

 **CAWCAWCMOTHERFUCKERS** : taking lessons from nat i see?

 **SheBeSneaky** : careful what you say next, barton

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : when am i not?

 **SheBeSneaky** : do you want the chronological or alphabetical list?

 **TonyStank** : i'm not sticking around to find out, also, friday lock up the vents

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : are you tRYING to get me killed?

 **TonyStank** : i'm not gonna answer that

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : tONY-

 **Mr.Jesus** : may the feast begin

**TonyStank** : honeeeeyyyy

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : No

 **TonyStank** : i haven't even asked for anything yet!

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : You don't need to, the answer is no

 **TonyStank** : _can you please get me some coffee_

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : And yet you ignore me anyways

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : Ask someone who would rather enable you

 **TonyStank** : so, peter-

 **Spider-Burrito** : absolutely not mr.stark

 **TonyStank** : you're my intern! isn't that your job? to fetch me coffee and shit?

 **Spider-Burrito** : i'm too precious for you to fire me so, i have the right to refuse

 **TonyStank** : you little shit-

 **Spider-Burrito:** you reap what you sow mr.stark

 **TonyStank** : excuse yOU-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : Girls, girl, you're both pretty, you can stop fighting now

 **TonyStank** : i'll stop fighting after i thROW THESE HANDS

 **Spider-Burrito** : holy shit, you're young enough to actually know what that means?

 **TonyStank** : kid i will murder you in your sleep, don't doubt me. i'm not that old yet

 **Spider-Burrito** : press x to doubt

 **Spider-Burrito** : x

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : x

 **MischievousSnek** : x

 **CoolScienceBro** : x

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : x

 **PopTartLover** : I suppose I shall press x as well

 **MischievousSnek** : you just had to ruin it-

 **PopTartLover** : Ruin what? I thought that the purpose was to press x to doubt the Man of Iron's ability to murder his prodigy?

 **MischievousSnek** : you are no brother of mine

 **PopTartLover** : What have I done?

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : too little and yet too much

 **PopTartLover** : ???

**TonyStank** : should i just ignore the fact that my closest friends just called me old?

 **CAWCAWOTHERFUCKERS** : yes

 **TonyStank** : okay, just wanted to check

~~~~**Spider-Burrito** : mr.stark i got you the bean juice

 **TonyStank** : kid, i love you

 **TonyStank** : but i love coffee more

 **TonyStank** : gimme

 **Spider-Burrito** : coming!

**SheBeSneaky** : what was all that talk about not enabling him?

 **Spider-Burrito** : first of all, that was mr.rhodey, i just agreed with him

 **Spider-Burrito** : second of all, it's the least i can do for him after everything

 **SheBeSneaky** : disgusting, absolutely disgusting

 **SheBeSneaky** : being cute and shit and making us feel _feelings_

**Spider-Burrito** : they're not so bad

 **SheBeSneaky** : mhmmmmm

 **Spider-Burrito** : most of the time

 **SheBeSneaky** : there we go

 **SheBeSneaky** : my job is done

 **Spider-Burrito** : oh by the way! before you leave!

 **SheBeSneaky** : hm?

 **Spider-Burrito** : is clint okay? he's been... unusually inactive in the chatroom

 **SheBeSneaky** : i've handled him

 **Spider-Burrito** : i'm-

 **Spider-Burrito** : okay, i won't question it

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i'm alive, surprisingly

 **TonyStank** : how unfortunate

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : fuck you too my friend

 **TonyStank** : i'm good, i don't think your wife would appreciate it, and i'm well past those years

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : that's disgusting

 **TonyStank** : i'll decide to ignore that comment, for your own good

 **TonyStank** : just because Nat took pity on you doesn't mean i will

 **TonyStank** : only peter can insult me

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : how sweet

 **TonyStank** : it is, but it's mostly because he gives me coffee that's _not_ decaf

 **Spider-Burrito** : you're welcome mr.stark

 **TonyStank** : yeah, yeah, whatever. don't let it get to your head kid

 **Spider-Burrito** : don't worry mr.stark, no one's ego can be inflated as yours

 **TonyStank** : istg to gOD kid- ~~~~

**CaptainMotherhen** : Hey Peter, would you mind responding to this? You weren't there for dinner

 **TonyStank** : yeah, i mean, we can't force ya to be here but we just wanna make sure you're good

 **TonyStank** : ... kid?

 **Spider-Burrito** : sorry mr.stark! currently out on patrol and i was webbing up a thief! also, i grabbed a sandwich at Delmar's for dinner before you ask.

 **TonyStank** : ah, okay, welp you know the curfew, have fun kid

 **Spider-Burrito** : aye aye sir!

 **TonyStank** : sigh

 **CaptainMotherhen** : Did you actually just write sigh?

 **TonyStank** : i want him to feel my worries and frustrations, and that can only be conveyed trough my sigh

 **CaptainMotherhen** : I suppose so...

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : your dad sigh

 **TonyStank** : i'll ignore the dad comment

 **TonyStank** : clint where the fuck were you? you weren't at dinner either! usually you're fucking around when you're quiet for so long

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : just doing some work, don't worry about me mr.stank- 

**TonyStank** : i'm definitely not worrying about you after that comment

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : uwu

 **TonyStank** : disgusting, absolutely disgusting

**Spider-Burrito** : alcohol taste better when you're underage because the secret ingredient is crime

 **TonyStank** : i don't support this, like, at all

 **Spider-Burrito** : you know i would never drink alcohol on patrol mr.stark

 **Spider-Burrito** : this is just what a drunk girl was telling me while i was escorting her home from a party

 **TonyStank** : of course it was

 **Spider-Burrito** : she was crying a lot

 **TonyStank** : you good?

 **Spider-Burrito** : yeah! she was just blabbering on about this animal shelter she volunteers at and how she's finally an adult, and that she feels old

 **Spider-Burrito** : i think she was like, 21? 23? idk in her early twenties

 **Spider-Burrito** : she was definitely legal, since she was complaining about how drinks tasted better when she snuck them out of her parents cabinets

 **CaptainMotherhen** : She sounds like a delight, it was nice of you to walk her home

 **Spider-Burrito** : she was good company! she made me laugh a lot so i feel rejuvenated, anyways! back to work!

 **TonyStank** : take care kid

 **Spider-Burrito** : thank you! talk to you later mr.stark!

 **TonyStark** : of course

**Spider-Burrito** : ha ha ha

 **TonyStank** : what did you do

 **Spider-Burrito** : um you see i've kinda sorta-

 **Mr.Jesus** : kid, it's fine, just spit it out. rip it off like a band-aid

 **Spider-Burrito** : i've kinda sorta been stabbed just a little bit

 **Spider-Burrito** : lightly poked

 **Spider-Burrito** : with a knife

 **Spider-Burrito** : in the gut 

**Spider-Burrito** : but i'm okay! someone helped patch me up and i'm good now! i just don't trust myself to swing back and i guess i could could try and swing back since i'm pretty sure i won't bleed to death and i'm sure nothing to important so hit but also i know what you said about telling you guys about this or else you'll have to monitor me more and i want you to trust me so yeah-

 **Spider-Burrito** : so is anybody picking me up or? 

**TonyStank** : Happy and I are already on our way too where you are

 **Spider-Burrito** : aaaaahhhh, thank you, sorry for bothering you, i know it's late

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : Peter, you're fine, Tony doesn't sleep anyways and it's not even midnight yet, none of us care if you wake us up.

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : and thank you for telling us this

 **FalconsAreCool** : I second that

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : oh, the falcon speaks, how surprising

 **FalconsAreCool** : I read everything, I just don't see the need to comment most of the time

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : rude, but fair

 **CoolScienceBro** : Anyways, would you like for me to treat you or Helen? You know my specialty isn't medicine, but I know just a bit more than the basics if only because everyone takes me for a doctor. I suggest you go to Helen but if you want me to treat you I can-

 **Spider-Burrito** : oh! i don't really care, whichever is most convenient i guess? my friend patched me up but didn't do actual stitches-

 **CaptainMothehen** : Oh yeah, about that, who is this friend of yours?

 **Spider-Burrito** : oh! no one special, but i don't feel comfortable revealing who they are because you guys have a habit of threatening everyone i know to make sure i'm not in any danger

 **MischievousSnek** : a necessary precaution, truly

 **SheBeSneaky** : what the snake said

 **Spider-Burrito** : you guys are unbelievable- but thanks i guess?

 **Spider-Burrito** : oh! happy and tony are here! text you guys later-

 **SheBeSneaky** : see you later

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : try to avoid getting stabbed again kid! i know it's hard but at least try!

 **Mr.Jesus** : what bird brain said

 **CaptainMotherhen** : Isn't Sam usually the bird brain?

 **FalconsAreCool** : Thanks for the vote of confidence Cap

 **Mr.Jesus:** they're both birds, it's the same thing- i just hate one guy mother than the other

 **CaptainMotherhen** : I await with eagerness the day you guys can get along

 **Mr.Jesus** : never gonna happen hun

 **FalconsAreCool** : yeah, tough luck

 **CaptainMotherhen** : Of course, how could I expect any less? Now, Bucky, you get Peter some food I can sense you're never energy

 **Mr.Jesus** : don't reveal my secrets like this-

 **CaptainMotherhen** : I was unaware that caring for someone was a secret-

 **Mr.Jesus** : say that to 90% of the people in the chatroom

 **CaptainMotherhen** : ... I don't like the fact that you're right

 **Mr.Jesus** : love you too

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : ew, feelings, get that shit out of here, ya'll are disgusting

 **FalconsAreCool** : I've dealt with their shit for years as well, I know how you feel

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : is this the time for Bird Unity?

 **FalconsAreCool** : In your dreams, I can just acknowledge the fact that we both suffer

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : don't we all?

 **FalconsAreCool** : Some of us more than others

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : true, you are next to cap constantly

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : like, a constant third wheel you can't get away from

 **FalconsAreCool** : Don't remind me

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : my lips are sealed

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : for now

 **FalconsAreCool** : i hate you

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : aw! love you too bud!

~~~~**Spider-Burrito** : everything hurts

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : that kinda happens when you get stabbed

 **Spider-Burrito** : no, really? why didn't you tell me sooner?

 **CaptainMotherhen** : You hang out with tony to much

 **Spider-Burrito** : every single one of you has contributed to this attitude, take responsibility for it

 **Spider-Burrito** : and mr.rogers i have super-hearing, don't think that i don't hear you swear constantly when you think no one is around

 **CaptainMotherhen** : I have no clue what you're talking about Peter

 **Spider-Burrito** : mhm

 **Spider-Burrito** : of course ya don't

 **CaptainMotherhen** : Exactly, I don't

 **Spider-Burrito** : mhhmmmmm

 **Spider-Burrito** : sure, whatever let's ya sleep at night

 **Spider-Burrito** : anyways sleep is calling to me, i shall text you guys when i awaken

 **TonyStank** : btw i'm with the kid guys, so ya don't gotta check on him

 **CoolScienceBro** : You're right

 **CoolScienceBro** : We'll have to check on you instead

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : Amen to that

 **Mr.Jesus** : amen

 **TonyStank** : i hate you all, good night

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : good night, i'm checking on you in 2 hours, have fun

 **TonyStank** : hmph, thanks

 **CoolScienceBro** : And I'll check on Peter's injuries when he wakes up so, text me when that happens

 **TonyStank** : got it

 **CaptainMotherhen** : You get some rest too Tony

 **TonyStank** : i'll try

 **CaptainMotherhen** : That's all we can ask for

 **TonyStank** : thanks guys

 **CaptainMotherhen** : ...Anytime Tony, we're a team

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Yes, I realize it's been a very long time although I've never given up on this fic! it may take me time to update, although I don't plan on giving up on it anytime soon.
> 
> I've written many drafts for this chapter, and nothing ever turned out quite right, so I simply let it settle for awhile before finally working on it now.
> 
> I always love reading comments! They're very much appreciated and keep me going! ^^


End file.
